Wow. So many thoughts and feelings arise from this rich and vulnerable piece, Will. Thank you.
Firstly, I spent the first half of listening to you speak thinking, "oh! I never realised Will was autistic and/or ADHD!" And then you finally talked about your neurodivergence. It's a wild and wonderful thing, and I wish you all the best in your continued unfolding and unmasking. I see you and I hear you, Will, and it is always a privilege to do so.
Secondly, it reminded me of my 14 year old teaching me recently that if you could (theoretically) fold a piece of paper 42 times, it would reach to the moon - that's 238,000 miles! In turn, that caused me to muse on how very tightly folded many folk are, and how that is praised in a society that lauds reaching for the stars but which is not at all connected to the very earth we dwell on. No wonder loneliness abounds!
Thirdly, I love the notion of unfolding, and each time I encounter it in the poets or storytellers something within me resounds with the beautiful truth of it. I wonder whether there is any limit to our potential unfolding, or whether we can endlessly continue to become more real, more ourselves, more connected. Perhaps, like Brigid's cloak, we can magically unfold to cover great swathes of land, and all that lives on it...
I could go on. Thanks again for this wonderfully evocative offering.
And your question about whether we continue to unfold has meet me in a curious way. It’s a big, (huge!) one and I shall have to ponder on it and come back with my thoughts! And I’ll be reading up on Brigid’s cloak too, that’s new to me :)
A beautiful unfolding! It’s a Soul Journey. To write about it is a sacred experience. We only go through it. If it wasn’t complicated it would be too easy! Bless you. Keep writing. We need you! Vulnerability is a super power. Us men are definitely slow to get there from the heart. Thank you. 🙏❤️
To "go through it" is a great way to describe it, Jim. That's how it feels, the whole of it, the wild unfolding. Odysseus taught us well on that front. Thank you, brother.
Thanks for sharing your unfolding with us, Will! I have been told that I'm complicated for a long long time. One day I realised that I am not. That I simply fought long to not be like everyone wanted to have me so that it was deeply uncomfortable for the people around me. Until I finally gave up and started pleasing. Then I wasn't complicated anymore, then I started to get anger outbursts every now and then. It is such a wonderful journey to unfold when we have folded up ourselves in order to fit into some certain boxes. Now I have to think about the imagery of a flower unfolding. We are all growing into home.
I am sorry that I've not been able to respond before now. I did read your wonderful, heartfelt post but it was too quick: I knew that I needed to take my time and to fully understand a few of the threads that you're slowing teasing out and offering the world.
I copy below a few extracts of the post and I've added a few thoughts of my own; I hope you don't mind but it was easier this way than to trying to cover the whole canvass in one go.
Blessings and much love to you and your family, Ju
___
A power imbalance has revealed itself. The questioner places themselves in an inferior position to the questioned, simply by asking. They are vulnerable, having promoted their interlocuter into a position of superiority and assumed knowledge, a position they perhaps didn't ask for.
I feel the weight of the imbalance Will and I'm not sure if this relates only to IT or more generally but I'm not sure there's a power imbalance -- unless you're dealing with an eejit -- but perhaps someone who doesn't feel or believe they know as much as they pretend. I've had very few encounters where someone has said to me it's complicated; if they did do so, then my legal training would dispose me to incisively prize apart the multiplicity of the answer so that I understood the compendium of complexity and what I truly wanted to know. My experience generally of IT is that they have their own language which they don't fully understand (the Horizon system is a case in point) and I've often found a shared experience where both of us have helped the other understand the nexus between the Q. and A.
Now of course it could be a simple statement of truth because some things are genuinely complicated. But for me, the phrase has become loaded with an undercurrent of judgement or passive aggression, maybe. For me when I hear those words I add unsaid things to expand the sentence like "...[and besides I don't have the time to explain it to you]", or worse, "... [and anyway you probably won’t understand it.]"
That does sound challenging for you. I am not offering any advice -- god forbid -- but I try to start most of my conversations with expressing my love of language and the importance of words (and the vernacular) and that does lessen the burden of expectation.
And I know, there will be eyes a-rolling, and the engines on band waggons a-firing, but when the most guttural of gut feelings meets hours of reading, trying new things, and years of therapeutic untangling, the realisation becomes impossible to ignore. And more than that, claiming that part of me, the part that was too complicated, becomes a major step in a healing process. A major step in becoming a whole human being.
I love this: the world needs you as a whole person and not someone whose shadow remains just that. I think you have a passion for sharing and shining a light on the goodness in the world and long may that continue.
So saying the words aloud, albeit with some trepidation, turns the conversation you don't want to have, into the conversation that you absolutely have to have.
Thanks so much for your considered response, mate. I must admit that after writing, and reading some of this aloud, I found myself questioning parts of it, especially the power imbalance part ! One of the many blessings of writing, deeper discernment and an opportunity to fine tune, correct or edit, maybe. You did make me chuckle with "unless you're dealing with an eejit" - or maybe I've been the eejit at times! haha!
Receiving your words as a blessing. Appreciate you, man!
Wow. So many thoughts and feelings arise from this rich and vulnerable piece, Will. Thank you.
Firstly, I spent the first half of listening to you speak thinking, "oh! I never realised Will was autistic and/or ADHD!" And then you finally talked about your neurodivergence. It's a wild and wonderful thing, and I wish you all the best in your continued unfolding and unmasking. I see you and I hear you, Will, and it is always a privilege to do so.
Secondly, it reminded me of my 14 year old teaching me recently that if you could (theoretically) fold a piece of paper 42 times, it would reach to the moon - that's 238,000 miles! In turn, that caused me to muse on how very tightly folded many folk are, and how that is praised in a society that lauds reaching for the stars but which is not at all connected to the very earth we dwell on. No wonder loneliness abounds!
Thirdly, I love the notion of unfolding, and each time I encounter it in the poets or storytellers something within me resounds with the beautiful truth of it. I wonder whether there is any limit to our potential unfolding, or whether we can endlessly continue to become more real, more ourselves, more connected. Perhaps, like Brigid's cloak, we can magically unfold to cover great swathes of land, and all that lives on it...
I could go on. Thanks again for this wonderfully evocative offering.
Ah Jez, deep thanks to you my friend.
And your question about whether we continue to unfold has meet me in a curious way. It’s a big, (huge!) one and I shall have to ponder on it and come back with my thoughts! And I’ll be reading up on Brigid’s cloak too, that’s new to me :)
Thanks for commenting and reading 🙏
It's a great piece of her story. Brigid is surely my favourite Celtic saint / pagan goddess mash-up!
A beautiful unfolding! It’s a Soul Journey. To write about it is a sacred experience. We only go through it. If it wasn’t complicated it would be too easy! Bless you. Keep writing. We need you! Vulnerability is a super power. Us men are definitely slow to get there from the heart. Thank you. 🙏❤️
To "go through it" is a great way to describe it, Jim. That's how it feels, the whole of it, the wild unfolding. Odysseus taught us well on that front. Thank you, brother.
Will.
Thank you
For unfolding
So we can
See the
Light.
Thank you for your lovely, poetic, comment Sue 🙏❤️
Thanks for sharing your unfolding with us, Will! I have been told that I'm complicated for a long long time. One day I realised that I am not. That I simply fought long to not be like everyone wanted to have me so that it was deeply uncomfortable for the people around me. Until I finally gave up and started pleasing. Then I wasn't complicated anymore, then I started to get anger outbursts every now and then. It is such a wonderful journey to unfold when we have folded up ourselves in order to fit into some certain boxes. Now I have to think about the imagery of a flower unfolding. We are all growing into home.
Will
I am sorry that I've not been able to respond before now. I did read your wonderful, heartfelt post but it was too quick: I knew that I needed to take my time and to fully understand a few of the threads that you're slowing teasing out and offering the world.
I copy below a few extracts of the post and I've added a few thoughts of my own; I hope you don't mind but it was easier this way than to trying to cover the whole canvass in one go.
Blessings and much love to you and your family, Ju
___
A power imbalance has revealed itself. The questioner places themselves in an inferior position to the questioned, simply by asking. They are vulnerable, having promoted their interlocuter into a position of superiority and assumed knowledge, a position they perhaps didn't ask for.
I feel the weight of the imbalance Will and I'm not sure if this relates only to IT or more generally but I'm not sure there's a power imbalance -- unless you're dealing with an eejit -- but perhaps someone who doesn't feel or believe they know as much as they pretend. I've had very few encounters where someone has said to me it's complicated; if they did do so, then my legal training would dispose me to incisively prize apart the multiplicity of the answer so that I understood the compendium of complexity and what I truly wanted to know. My experience generally of IT is that they have their own language which they don't fully understand (the Horizon system is a case in point) and I've often found a shared experience where both of us have helped the other understand the nexus between the Q. and A.
Now of course it could be a simple statement of truth because some things are genuinely complicated. But for me, the phrase has become loaded with an undercurrent of judgement or passive aggression, maybe. For me when I hear those words I add unsaid things to expand the sentence like "...[and besides I don't have the time to explain it to you]", or worse, "... [and anyway you probably won’t understand it.]"
That does sound challenging for you. I am not offering any advice -- god forbid -- but I try to start most of my conversations with expressing my love of language and the importance of words (and the vernacular) and that does lessen the burden of expectation.
And I know, there will be eyes a-rolling, and the engines on band waggons a-firing, but when the most guttural of gut feelings meets hours of reading, trying new things, and years of therapeutic untangling, the realisation becomes impossible to ignore. And more than that, claiming that part of me, the part that was too complicated, becomes a major step in a healing process. A major step in becoming a whole human being.
I love this: the world needs you as a whole person and not someone whose shadow remains just that. I think you have a passion for sharing and shining a light on the goodness in the world and long may that continue.
So saying the words aloud, albeit with some trepidation, turns the conversation you don't want to have, into the conversation that you absolutely have to have.
Amen to this.
Amen.
Thanks so much for your considered response, mate. I must admit that after writing, and reading some of this aloud, I found myself questioning parts of it, especially the power imbalance part ! One of the many blessings of writing, deeper discernment and an opportunity to fine tune, correct or edit, maybe. You did make me chuckle with "unless you're dealing with an eejit" - or maybe I've been the eejit at times! haha!
Receiving your words as a blessing. Appreciate you, man!